Passion Play

‘Tis the season. Yes, it’s that time of year where things shine a little brighter, and emotions run a little higher. Both good and bad. We’re just coming off the Thanksgiving holiday, which was hopefully a time for pause and reflection. But what about the other 364 days of the year? Why do we limit gratitude to one day only? What would happen if we started off each day focused on the things that bring us joy?

I’ve recently rediscovered one of my passions in life: music. I can’t tell you how much this remembering has changed my very core. I am happier, significantly happier. If I feel stressed, down, tired, upset or emotional – I put on music. I sing and dance around my house, and I remember the pure joy of doing something with passion. And I feel grateful. I’ve learned that the two go hand in hand, actually. Gratitude is not a solemn emotion, to be expressed seriously and with quiet meditation. Gratitude is joy-full! When we feel gratitude, we tend to feel happier. It simply makes sense. And the key to unlocking a perpetual stream of joy and gratitude in your life is reclaiming your passion.

It doesn’t matter what your passion is. Personally, I believe we all have many. What matters is that you remember one. Just one, and then you run with it. You incorporate it into your life in little ways, and you simply enjoy the pleasure of it. I think what you’ll find is that everything around you becomes a little easier, a little brighter and you will feel brighter, too, even during the “stress” of the holiday season. In fact, you might be able to ward off any stress if you make the decision to have a little dose of passion every day, starting now. For me, it’s music. It’s easy, and yet I had forgotten all about it. Now, all I have to do is pop in a CD, open my mouth, take a breath and sing! And voila – instant joy, which leads to pure gratitude. Ahhh. . . .

This week, as things start to pick up and get into full swing with family, parties, obligations, etc. take a moment to remind yourself what it means to feel joy and gratitude, and then know that one key that unlocks the door to those feelings is to experience your life with a daily dose of passion.

Fear and Gratitude

A favorite quote/mantra of mine: “Fear cannot live in a grateful heart.” Not sure where I first heard it or who said it – but it has been a guiding light in many a situation over the years. More recently, however, it has been a great tool that I have shared with clients, friends and family. And now I’d like to share it with you during this week in which we focus on giving thanks. Here’s how it works:

1) Think of something that causes you fear, anxiety or worry. Think of it, see it, and then FEEL it. Recognize that feeling within your body, physically. Sit with it for as long as you need, in order to commit it to memory - but not more than a minute, if you can last that long!

2) Now think of something for which you are grateful. Anything. The day, the weather, family, friends, a child, even your car or a new pair of shoes. Sit with this and truly feel the gratitude you have for whatever this is as it fills your body with love and joy. Allow that feeling to permeate every corner and every cell. Enjoy it. (you can sit with this one for as long as you want.)

Ok – now you know the two feelings and you have committed them to memory. Here comes the life-altering part: Whenever you have even the tiniest twinge of fear, like in the first part of the exercise, whether it shows up and registers as fear or not you now know what it is. You have a memory of it and a barometer, of sorts. When these feelings show up in your body, take a breath and switch into gratitude. Again, it can be gratitude for anything. Gratitude for the train being on time, or your coffee being delicious – or even having the money to buy a coffee. By switching from one emotion to the other, and consciously putting your attention onto your feelings, you are creating new habits and behaviors that will ultimately become automatic, and you will find that life becomes a little easier, smoother and more joy-filled.

The most challenging part of this exercise is recognizing the fear emotion, and then taking the pause (or breath) to consciously switch it. That’s why the first part of the exercise, though not pleasant, is important. You need to have the conscious memory of the physical feelings associated with these emotions in order to recognize and change them. As with all things, it takes practice, but it gets much easier the more you do it.

So, now this begs the question in this week of Thanksgiving: What makes you feel gratitude? Make a list. Keep it with you so you can call on it whenever you want. Add to it, change it, and see how different your life can be. For truly, when your heart is full of gratitude there is no room for fear.

With deepest gratitude for allowing me into your life…
In love and light,
Martina

In a blink.

Lately, I’ve witnessed and experienced several life-changing events. Last week I was 1 minute behind a major traffic accident. A car was flipped over on its side, the driver was still inside, and the police had not arrived yet. I can’t imagine how that person’s life has now changed. (I stayed long enough to offer assistance, and thankfully, the woman was still alive.)

Then this week a family friend passed away unexpectedly. He was golfing alone on Sunday, and somehow had an accident with his golf cart. He was not found for several hours, and subsequently was declared brain dead. His family chose to take him off life support later in the week. Again, a sad, sudden and extreme reminder of how tenuous life can be.

As another, more personal example, a couple of months ago, my own life took a turn rather suddenly too, and my life has changed forever as a result. And that’s ok. It’s been challenging, of course, but I know it’s part of “the plan,” as it were, and I am doing my best to live and let go. Here’s the thing: I have realized in recent days that I have a choice. While I didn’t get to choose what happened that made everything change, I DO get to choose how I go about dealing with it and what I do from here. And that knowledge has made all the difference.

One of my favorite songs from ‘Jekyll & Hyde’ includes the phrase, “the only thing constant is change.” And that is one of the most reliable facts of life, aside from death and taxes. So if that’s true, why do we fear change so much, in general? I believe that it’s because we don’t know what we don’t know until we know it. Yes, that’s a confusing sentence, but let me break it down:

“We don’t know what we don’t know,” – that seems obvious; “until we know it,” –that’s the tricky part. The fact is, change brings about experiences, which in turn brings about lessons, which brings about knowledge, which leads to growth, understanding and compassion. Change is challenging because of the unknown. However, if we return to that which we know to be true – which is the fact that we can CHOOSE how we deal with something – then the ‘unknown’ is no longer a factor. Because, as the above examples demonstrate, everything is actually unknown and life can change in the blink of an eye. What matters is how you choose to live in the moments after the blink.

D-d-d-d-d-Daylight

Ok – so this is something totally new for me to be writing about, but I feel it’s really important to share, in light of the change in seasons and weather. Did you know that approximately 40% of all Americans are Vitamin D deficient? Did you also know that you would have to drink about 10 glasses of D-fortified milk a day to get enough Vitamin D in your diet? Finally, did you know that Vitamin D is created naturally by your body with only about 10 minutes of sun a day?

Since most of us spend the daylight hours indoors, especially with the recent time change, there is no way we can get enough exposure to the sun without making some small changes in our day. So, with winter upon us and the days getting shorter and shorter, what can we do? Well, for starters, you can take simple steps to increase your natural vitamin D production, such as taking a stroll outside during lunch, if it’s sunny. Alternatively, you can supplement your diet with Vitamin D itself. Of course, the best thing to do is to visit your doctor and see if you can get your own levels tested – I think you might find the results surprising. I know I did!

In my own experience, I started adding Vitamin D to my diet a few years ago, specifically during the winter months. I noticed a difference fairly quickly, and am grateful my doctor recommended this addition to my daily routine. Adding Vitamin D gave me more energy, reduced my desire to hibernate during the winter months, and helped stabilize my mood, even on the dreariest of cold days.

Here’s what I do: I usually start adding Vitamin D back into my diet sometime in October, and I taper it off in April. Depending on where you live, and your access to sunlight, you may want to extend or shorten that time. Finally, I did notice a difference between taking the Vitamin D liqui-gels or tablets. The liqui-gels seemed more effective and easier on my system – plus they were recommended by my doc. And, of course, I stay in touch with my doctor to keep him informed of what supplements I am taking or reducing. With his help I am able to determine the most effective dose for my needs.

So that’s my experience with Vitamin D – and I can honestly say that everyone I have shared this tidbit of information with has experienced similar benefits. So what are you waiting for? Do you need more Vitamin D? More sunshine? Lastly, in case you didn’t realize the importance of this often overlooked nutrient for the body – do a quick search online and read about the long list of diseases and conditions that can be prevented by maintaining healthy levels of Vitamin D. You’ll be glad you did.

In love, light and good health,
Martina

*And now the disclaimer: This message is not intended to diagnose, treat or prevent any disease, illness or condition. Please see a medical professional for specific advice with regard to medications and/or supplements. *

Strength

Strength is not courage nor is it the absence of fear. Rather, strength is a willingness to feel weak and still make the decision to move forward with integrity.

There is a softness about strength. It is not found within determination. Instead it is in the knowing that at any moment everything can change. The strongest are able to bend, flow and move with grace like webs on the wind. The weakest are the most fixed. Stable in appearance, but weakened by their lack of flexibility.

What does all this mean? It means that I am strong, because I know myself to be otherwise. I know that anything - everything - changes without warning, and that I can choose to bend or stand firm. My strength is found in my weaknesses: compassion, understanding, sympathy, empathy. Without them, I would be steel. With them, I am the co-creator of my life...allowing the wind to carry me, always knowing that I get to choose how long to make my web.

Today was a challenging day. Tonight was even more difficult. The morning began with a difficult conversation that tested my resolve to stand firm, and the evening ended with an emotional conversation that had me bending and swaying like a palm tree in a hurricane. In the morning, I chose to find strength by allowing more flexibility into a precious decision. In the evening, though my emotions were carrying me this way and that, I chose to find the strength that comes with expressing myself honestly and openly, by stating my needs and creating boundaries.

So, in the end -- what is strength?.... We know it when we see it in others, yet we rarely recognize it in ourselves. And therein lies the answer.

Peace.

Letting Go

Two nights ago I was channel surfing and I stumbled upon something I’ve never watched before. It was Joel Osteen’s program. At first I was going to keep switching, but something he said caught my attention. His sermon was on moving mountains, but the point at which I joined him he had just said something that stuck with me. So I listened. It wasn’t necessarily new to me. In fact, it’s similar to other ‘teachers’ I’ve read, and things I’ve taught clients of my own. But it was new words, and I liked them.

He said: “Let there be light,” as he was quoting from the Bible. But what he said afterward is what made all the difference. He went on to explain that the use of the word “let” implied that there was an opposing force already in existence. As an example, he said, “let go of my hand” implies that your hand is currently being held or restrained. Therefore, “let there be light,” means that there was darkness, through which light was needed. And instead of asking for light, God directed it to appear. As Joel said, he ‘commanded’ it. So, here’s the deal:

What if we used the word ‘Let’ more often in our lives – but with conscious thought? There’s a great Christmas song called “Let there be peace on earth.” A great idea indeed! But what if we invoked the power of that word for smaller, everyday things? Wouldn’t that, couldn’t that, collectively create peace on earth? Here are some of my suggestions, what would yours be?

Let me speak with love and grace today to everyone I meet.
Let compassion be my guiding star.
Let me choose healthy foods, just for today.
Let others share their light with the world.
Let acceptance be the driving force in interactions.
Let me share my experience and strength with others.
Let me be open to receiving the wisdom of others.
Let gratitude fill my every thought.
Let there be joy in my heart and a smile on my face.
Let me be myself, who I am, now and always.
And finally. . .
Let God.

The last one is quite possibly the most simple and the most powerful. There’s a saying many of you might be familiar with: “Let go and Let God.” Sometimes, it truly is that simple. We can pray for what we want or need, but without handing it over to God (the Universe, Divine Grace, etc.) we are not allowing our needs to be met. As with everything, it is a two-step process: 1) focusing thought, and 2) letting go. So, with my list above, I focused my thought and energy on things I think would make me, my community, my country and the earth a happier more peaceful place. But in the end, I’ve only taken the first step. The second step is to actually let those thoughts go. If you think of it this way: as long as you are holding on to the thought of what you want, you are not allowing the space for it to become reality. Do you see how that works?

If your hands and heart are full of the “idea” of something, there is no room for that something to become physically real.

Why? Because it’s trapped in the energy of being a thought, nothing more. It’s when we let go of the thought, that it finally has the opportunity to become reality. And God (the Universe, Divine Grace, etc.) has the opportunity to do their part by making it real, or better.

So, “let” is a powerful word indeed. But its true power is unleashed when we use it as it was intended: by invoking its power, and then allowing it the freedom and space to realize its potential. What would you ask for today? And are you willing to then let it go?

In Love and Light,
Martina

One word

This week I want to share something with you that I found particularly interesting. I have been reading Laura Munson’s book “This is Not the Story You Think It Is…” and toward the beginning (actually in the 2nd chapter) there is this amazing excerpt that Laura shares with us. Perhaps you’ve heard of it before. Indeed it’s fairly reminiscent of a through-line in ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ (perhaps both ladies read the same author – I don’t know). What I do know is I want to share it with you now, as well as Laura’s thoughts and words leading up to the excerpt. From Laura:

“And then I remember an excerpt from a book that has seen me through hard times before. It’s called The Cloud of Unknowing. In it, an anonymous fourteenth-century Christian mystic writer asks us to choose a word. One word. And to fasten it to our hearts. That word, working in us, will bring us through the hardest times. Or so the anonymous writer promises. In my life, that word has been many things. God, love, hope, truth, joy, grace, beauty, wonder, surrender, freedom. Right now it is more simple than any of those things. It is not a deity or a goal or a state of being. It’s an action verb. It is simply: breathe.”

And here is the excerpt:

“Take just a little word of one syllable rather than two . . . Such a one is the word God or the word love. Choose which you prefer . . . and fasten this word to your heart so that whatever happens it will never go away. This word is to be your shield and your spear, whether you are riding in peace or in war. With this word you are to beat upon the cloud and the darkness above and beneath you. With this word you are to strike down every kind of thought, driving it down into a pool of forgetting. If any thought should press upon you, asking what you would have, answer with no word but this one. If your thoughts should offer, out of their great learning to analyze your word for you and tell you its meanings, say to your thoughts that you want to keep it whole . . . It is not a matter of analyzing or elucidating . . . No one can truly think of God. It is therefore my wish to leave everything that I can think and choose for my love the thing that I cannot think. God can be loved but not thought. He can be taken and held by love, but not by thought.”

For me, this is one of the most poignant and simple things I’ve read in a while. I have to admit, I have not yet read ‘Eat, Pray, Love,” but I did see the movie, and I spent the following few days thinking of my word. And then I picked up Laura’s book (which is a must-read), and the same suggestion was laid before me to ponder. And I urgently thought, “What IS my word?” “Do I even have a word?” “Am I a failure if I can’t come up with a word? One word?” Geesh!

The problem was I couldn’t come up with just one. I had several, actually, that felt ‘right’ for me. So – how could I choose? Was it: faith, light, peace, authenticity, or truth? What was my word? You probably know from previous writings that I refer to God in many ways, as God encompasses so much for me. So, I tried “God” on for size – and I still felt like I couldn’t settle on one word. And yet the author was so clear. One word. One one-syllable word. That’s all. How was I going to do this? And then I realized something. It wasn’t about the ONE word. It was about the act of making a decision, and holding it. For me, what mattered more than the word was making a choice. And once I settled down, stepped away from my mind and allowed myself the room to choose - you know what happened? I chose Me. I’m not sure it gets simpler than that. Me.

Some of you may think that odd – but it’s the most authentic, loving, peaceful, happy, light and divine word I can come up with. By choosing “me” and fastening myself to my heart – I have chosen to step into my own power. I have chosen to honor who I am as an expression of something Divine. And I have chosen to feel the freedom that comes with making such a decision.

In the end, it became much simpler than I was making it. There are so many words I could have chosen along the way to help me through difficult times. But they would be transient words, ever-changing in the face of challenges. The one word that would never change is simply Me. And for that realization I can honestly say I am incredibly grateful. Thank you, Laura. Thank you, Liz. And thank you anonymous Christian mystic for prompting me to make the choice.

In love and light,
Martina