A river of Love

Ok - Here we go. I have been working on setting up the blog as its own site - we're almost there, but not yet. So, in the meantime... I thought it best to keep going here (in light of the near 2-month absence....so sorry.) But, now I'm back. So, let's get inspired together!!

As I was driving today, I had a thought. (Big surprise, I know.) Basically, I've been told by countless teachers, gurus, friends, healers, etc. to "go with the flow." Life is so much harder if you try to go against the flow of your river. I've even written about it myself. It's true. When we allow life to happen, rather than fighting the current, life is much much easier. We are in the flow, and the Universe works with us. But here's the thought I had: what if we are in the wrong river? Ok, I know I'm bucking the trend by saying that, but really - let's think about it.

It's not necessarily the "wrong" river, because I accept that we're never out of our proper place to learn and be; but for just one moment, let's entertain the idea that we have free will and choice in this lifetime, as well as the power to stand up, step out of the river, and go find another one. One that's more suited to who we are and how we're meant to live. What if that's possible?

I think when I was driving I realized for myself that no matter how much I go with the flow, and allow myself to move with the current, I simply felt like it wasn't right. I felt like I was resigning myself to the waters around me, knowing that they were going too fast, or were too cold, or even too still. So, rather than lying back and floating downstream, I asked myself: "what if there is another river?" Could it be that simple? I mean, I've studied, practiced, learned, discussed.... I've read countless books and articles on happiness, inspiration and spirituality. I've practiced the mantra: "Let go and let God" until I couldn't say anything else. But there's a part of me that still questioned the flow. It still didn't "feel" right. Not for me. So, what if it's just the wrong river? I can't imagine that God wants us all to lie back and float with whatever current we're in, hoping and praying that He will simply take care of everything. I mean, I know He will if we ask and need Him to; but why would He give us free will, if He didn't also intend for us to use it, thereby working with Him?

I think there's an empowerment piece missing here. It's just my opinion, but what if it were possible for us to choose the river we are in? I'm not naive enough to think that there are rivers without rapids and eddies and rocks; but I do believe that we have the power to choose which river we want to be in. And I do believe that God (Spirit, the Universe, etc.) will help us no matter where we are, if we ask; however, I'm starting to also think that a little bit of empowerment, in the form of self-love, is what God intended for us to learn and share. What do I mean by that? Well, I've come to realize that one of the greatest gifts we can give someone else is to support, love and empower them to be who they are. So, if that's the greatest gift we can give someone else, it stands to reason that it's also the greatest gift we can give ourself.

To love, support and empower who we are ourselves needs two things: honesty and communication. It means looking in the mirror and actually being truthful about how we feel inside and comparing that with how we behave outside -- then communicating that in a loving and thoughtful way with ourself. Does this make sense to you? It recently hit me like a ton of bricks, though I have to admit I'm still sorting through a bit of the rubble as I piece it all back together. What I know is this:

The most important thing we can do, for ourselves and others, is to love ourselves, unconditionally. To truly do this, we need to accept ourselves, flaws and all, and make decisions based on who we are, not who others might want us to be. This acceptance comes from honesty and communication. It's the greatest gift we can teach our children: self-love. And from there, we can love others unconditionally. It becomes effortless. Why? Because when we are true to who we are, we end up being surrounded by people who support us and love us. There are no agendas, no games, just love, respect and support. Of course, in some relationships, usually the romantic ones, more issues come up than with just friendships, because it's a balancing act. But that doesn't mean that we have to lose ourselves. It means that because we love the other person, we're willing to learn, grow, and become more flexible, out of a desire to experience a deeper love. A love that carries with it a freedom, unknowable in any other way. And that, well - that is when we are living God's will for us: To live in Love. And the first step, the key that unlocks the door to all of this, is self-love.

So this brings me back to my original thought: If I'm in a river that doesn't "feel" right for me, and I've spent countless hours, days and weeks practicing 'letting go' only to find that I still don't feel good about where I am -- do I love myself enough to actually take a look at the river and make a change - or at the very least explore whether that possibility exists? What do you think?

Living Optimally

So – it’s been a week, and what a week it’s been. Yours truly has been knocked down by the flu. Not sure whether it was just the common flu or the H1N1 strain – but whatever it was, it definitely got me. Which brings me to this week’s topic: Living Optimally.

A dear friend of mine recently shared her new life mantra with me, and I love it. It’s “Be happy now.” What does that mean exactly? Well, my interpretation is that it means that she is making decisions based on that idea. For example: if there is a choice to make between two things (as many of us experience this holiday season), she might look at the options through the filter of what will support her mantra of being happy now. Living in the moment. Too often we feel obligated to accept all invitations. As such, social commitments sometimes become a chore or a task, rather than a celebration. Now – this isn’t to say that you have to turn people down, but it does put a different perspective on things. If you have two holiday parties to go to on the same night, then you have the power to make the decision to choose one or the other – or both! More importantly, however, you also have the power to CHOOSE how you are going to approach the evening. Will you look at it as an overwhelming commitment? Or will you look at it as an opportunity to celebrate relationships and enjoy the moment? It’s your choice. Be happy now.

But let’s take this back to my experience with the flu. Last week I told you about Dr. Darren and Dr. Tom’s work. A major part of their work incorporates the idea of The Five Basics for Optimal Health, which are: ‘The quantity, quality, and frequency of water, food, rest, exercise and owning one’s power.” Of course, this is nothing new to most of us – except for, possibly, the “owning one’s power” part. But that relates back to what I just said about choice. As for the other four pieces – well, they’re just common sense, aren’t they? Or are they? If they were that simple – the weight loss industry and health care industry wouldn’t be worth hundreds of billions of dollars. So, where’s the disconnect?

In my opinion, it’s that last piece: owning your power. Owning your power means making a decision. Just like my friend has done in deciding to “be happy now” – it’s the decisions that drive us either toward health and wellness, or dysfunction and disease. If we want a quick-fix solution to a life-long problem, that’s a choice. And it might mean spending the rest of your life searching for the solution – rather than choosing a long-term strategy. But what about when things like the flu epidemic take place? I considered myself to be fairly healthy with a strong immune system, but I still got knocked down. Why? Was it something I did? Could I have done something different? Was I living optimally before I got sick? The answer is no – to all of those questions. I was not living optimally, however, there was also nothing I did to cause it, and there was nothing I could have done differently to prevent it, because that’s in the past. Going forward, however, I can make different choices.

I can choose to drink better water, more often, in larger amounts. I can also choose to go to bed earlier, and sleep better – giving my body more opportunity for rest and restoration. Food and exercise will also play a role. By making a deliberate decision to incorporate more fruits and vegetables, as well as daily movement in any form, I will be providing my body with the best possible scenario to heal and become stronger. The best part is, by making these decisions I will be owning my own power. In a way, it’s both a catalyst and a happy side effect of living a healthier life. It’s cyclical, and it will fuel itself.

One more thing, though – a big part of owning my power is also making the choice not to shame myself (and feel guilt) if I should choose something defined as “less healthy.” Life is about moderation, and life is about choices. A bowl of ice cream or a side order of French fries is a choice – it’s also a choice to feel happy about it and enjoy it fully, or to feel guilt about it and remorse. THAT is truly owning your power. So, just as my friend has embraced her own power by creating a mantra by which she lives her life, so can you. Every morning you have a choice to make on how you will approach your day. And every night, when you are lying in bed about to fall asleep, you have the power to choose how you will look back on your day and your choices. It’s up to you. Once you begin owning your power, the rest will naturally start falling into place. Amazing. And it all begins with you….with your choices.

THree THings

Body – What do you choose to drink first thing when you wake up in the morning? Water or coffee? Which one is more consistent with living optimally? Coffee is fine, but when you wake up, your body has become more dehydrated overnight. A glass of water might wake you up faster than the caffeine would.

Mind – If you find yourself feeling guilt about something – it’s probably an old pattern of belief. Pause. Give yourself a break, and see if you can make a decision to think differently.

Spirit – Honoring yourself is the greatest gift. It will give you the strength to take the initial steps toward living optimally.

In Love and Light,

Martina