A river of Love

Ok - Here we go. I have been working on setting up the blog as its own site - we're almost there, but not yet. So, in the meantime... I thought it best to keep going here (in light of the near 2-month absence....so sorry.) But, now I'm back. So, let's get inspired together!!

As I was driving today, I had a thought. (Big surprise, I know.) Basically, I've been told by countless teachers, gurus, friends, healers, etc. to "go with the flow." Life is so much harder if you try to go against the flow of your river. I've even written about it myself. It's true. When we allow life to happen, rather than fighting the current, life is much much easier. We are in the flow, and the Universe works with us. But here's the thought I had: what if we are in the wrong river? Ok, I know I'm bucking the trend by saying that, but really - let's think about it.

It's not necessarily the "wrong" river, because I accept that we're never out of our proper place to learn and be; but for just one moment, let's entertain the idea that we have free will and choice in this lifetime, as well as the power to stand up, step out of the river, and go find another one. One that's more suited to who we are and how we're meant to live. What if that's possible?

I think when I was driving I realized for myself that no matter how much I go with the flow, and allow myself to move with the current, I simply felt like it wasn't right. I felt like I was resigning myself to the waters around me, knowing that they were going too fast, or were too cold, or even too still. So, rather than lying back and floating downstream, I asked myself: "what if there is another river?" Could it be that simple? I mean, I've studied, practiced, learned, discussed.... I've read countless books and articles on happiness, inspiration and spirituality. I've practiced the mantra: "Let go and let God" until I couldn't say anything else. But there's a part of me that still questioned the flow. It still didn't "feel" right. Not for me. So, what if it's just the wrong river? I can't imagine that God wants us all to lie back and float with whatever current we're in, hoping and praying that He will simply take care of everything. I mean, I know He will if we ask and need Him to; but why would He give us free will, if He didn't also intend for us to use it, thereby working with Him?

I think there's an empowerment piece missing here. It's just my opinion, but what if it were possible for us to choose the river we are in? I'm not naive enough to think that there are rivers without rapids and eddies and rocks; but I do believe that we have the power to choose which river we want to be in. And I do believe that God (Spirit, the Universe, etc.) will help us no matter where we are, if we ask; however, I'm starting to also think that a little bit of empowerment, in the form of self-love, is what God intended for us to learn and share. What do I mean by that? Well, I've come to realize that one of the greatest gifts we can give someone else is to support, love and empower them to be who they are. So, if that's the greatest gift we can give someone else, it stands to reason that it's also the greatest gift we can give ourself.

To love, support and empower who we are ourselves needs two things: honesty and communication. It means looking in the mirror and actually being truthful about how we feel inside and comparing that with how we behave outside -- then communicating that in a loving and thoughtful way with ourself. Does this make sense to you? It recently hit me like a ton of bricks, though I have to admit I'm still sorting through a bit of the rubble as I piece it all back together. What I know is this:

The most important thing we can do, for ourselves and others, is to love ourselves, unconditionally. To truly do this, we need to accept ourselves, flaws and all, and make decisions based on who we are, not who others might want us to be. This acceptance comes from honesty and communication. It's the greatest gift we can teach our children: self-love. And from there, we can love others unconditionally. It becomes effortless. Why? Because when we are true to who we are, we end up being surrounded by people who support us and love us. There are no agendas, no games, just love, respect and support. Of course, in some relationships, usually the romantic ones, more issues come up than with just friendships, because it's a balancing act. But that doesn't mean that we have to lose ourselves. It means that because we love the other person, we're willing to learn, grow, and become more flexible, out of a desire to experience a deeper love. A love that carries with it a freedom, unknowable in any other way. And that, well - that is when we are living God's will for us: To live in Love. And the first step, the key that unlocks the door to all of this, is self-love.

So this brings me back to my original thought: If I'm in a river that doesn't "feel" right for me, and I've spent countless hours, days and weeks practicing 'letting go' only to find that I still don't feel good about where I am -- do I love myself enough to actually take a look at the river and make a change - or at the very least explore whether that possibility exists? What do you think?

What now?

What do you do, when you don’t know what to do? I was recently asked this question by one of my clients. And truth be told, I’ve asked it of myself many times before. It’s more common than you might think. Often times it simply comes in the form of doubt or fear: Fear of moving forward, fear of not moving forward; Fear of making the wrong decision, and fear of making the right decision. Sometimes others provide us with the answer of, simply, “do anything!” But is that helpful? I suppose it can be, but the vagueness of that reply can reinforce and underscore the feeling of emptiness inherent in the question. So, while it’s certainly encouraging – it’s not necessarily helpful.

Here’s what I think works better: when in doubt, leave it out. Initially, perhaps that’s a bit counterintuitive, but it makes sense if you look at it. So let’s do that. If you are in doubt about something, it automatically muddies the water of your life by creating friction between your conscious and subconscious minds. Muddy water can then seep into other areas that were previously quite clear, which ultimately results in the exasperated feeling of “what now?” So, to start with, we omit the portion that is sullying the water. Yes, it’s easier said than done – but here’s a trick:

Rather than focusing on omitting the cause, focus on everything else. Go as simple as you need to go, until you are in clear water again. As with everything, when we focus on the negative things and try to change them – we only give them more power and influence over our lives. But if we focus on the positive things, and do our best to expand them, then we are really living authentically for who we are. Here’s an example:

A few years ago, I experienced this feeling of “what now?” and I felt myself going in circles. I tried to fix that which I thought was broken, and the resulting distraction from what was good in my life only caused the good things to be more neglected and ultimately need my “fixing” attention as well. I realized, with help from others, that this was not working, and I paused, shifted my attention, and started to focus on that which was good. Nurturing it, loving it, accepting it. Unfortunately, I had let it go so far, that I was really stripped back to the basics. I spent many days and weeks waking up and simply looking around me and allowing myself to feel grateful for the simplest things: a beautiful tree outside my window, a bird’s song, a smile from a friend, a roof over my head, food on my table, etc. You get the idea. These are the simple things that most of us take for granted, because we have been too busy, or not had occasion to be without. In light of what’s going on in Haiti, this exercise is even more poignant. Oprah introduced the concept of a Gratitude Journal to the world. This concept has been around for a lot longer though. A child’s prayer by his bedside at night is the original ‘gratitude journal’ – whether he is praying to God, Allah, Buddha, etc.

What I’m saying is that when we feel overwhelmed by life, and all the chaos and clutter in our minds, hearts and houses – the best way to move forward into peace, happiness and serenity, is to seek out that for which we are grateful, and focus on those things, one at a time. Once our attention is turned, and we can catch a breath or two, we can then take deliberate action, one step at a time, to make changes in our life that will lessen the chaos and disorder. Therefore, instead of looking at a pile of laundry, look at the many clothes you have, and be grateful. Then, do one load at a time – maybe one load a day, until you’re caught up. When it’s all folded and ready to be put away – perhaps there are a few items that you no longer need: items that have added to the chaos and clutter in your life. These are items that may be a blessing to someone else. Could you let go of them? When we are truly grateful for what we have, we sometimes realize that we have too much. Especially in times of need, what a blessing it would be to share our abundance with others. Not only will we be helping someone else, but we will be helping ourselves, too – by taking steps toward preventing a future uprising of that “what now?” feeling.

It all begins with your decision to pause, and choose a different perspective. And isn’t that just amazing? That a feeling as overwhelming as “I don’t know what to do,” can be transformed into empowerment within a few seconds, simply by pausing, looking around you and allowing yourself to appreciate what you already have, and what you already have done. What a gift.

In love and light,

Martina

Manifesting and Reflecting

As the days are getting shorter, the year is coming to a close, and we are entering the holiday season with Thanksgiving next week – I feel it is time to prepare ourselves.

Typically, we look back after Christmas, and then in a hurried fashion we think about the year ahead. We make our New Year’s resolutions, and we reflect on what we did (or didn’t) accomplish these past 12 months. After 5-6 weeks of holiday feasts, parties and celebrations, it’s no doubt that the focus of our attention is usually on returning to a more moderate lifestyle – complete with diets and exercise. But what if we didn’t wait until the last minute to begin our reflections and, more importantly, our manifestations for the coming year?

By waiting until after the holiday hangover begins, our manifestations have a greater chance of coming from a place of excess or, perhaps even, punishment for how we’ve spent the last few weeks in celebration. They are reactionary. Whereas, if we begin our reflections now, and allow ourselves the time to truly focus on manifesting the coming year from a place of thoughtful consideration – think of the possibilities!

Thanksgiving is typically spent with our loved ones, pausing in gratitude, as we appreciate and share our blessings and the year we have just experienced. In that process, don’t forget that you are a “loved one” as well. Remember to pause with yourself, and reflect on the blessings you have created in your own life. This reflection will bring you to your focus for your manifestations. Through honoring yourself, you honor those around you. There is no greater gift.

Therefore, in preparation for the holidays, the coming year, and the great opportunities in your future, I invite you into a space of empowerment. “Resolutions” is just a reactive word for manifestation. More importantly, however, manifestation has an added connotation of being empowering. So – what do you desire in your life? How can you focus your attention on manifesting better health, relationships and serenity? By starting now, I can almost guarantee that your holidays will be more enjoyable. Why? Because you will be approaching them from a position of love: Love for others, for your future, and mostly, for yourself.

THree THings

Body – Think of the past year and what changes you have already made – then thank yourself. Once you’ve done that, think of new modifications you would like to consider, and why? Write them down this way: What if….

Mind – Time spent in reflection is valuable, if the reflection yields opportunities for growth. (If reflection is merely an occasion to shame yourself – then I would suggest you spend as little time as possible reflecting on the past.) Time spent looking forward is valuable, if it brings with it actionable steps for change. How are you spending your time?

Spirit – Your intuition will always lead you in the “right” direction. Right does not mean “not wrong” – instead, it means “loving.” Therefore, your intuition will always lead you toward greater love – for yourself, and, eventually, others. Can you hear your intuition? Do you know how to access it without ego and judgment? It’s always there, and it always loves you. Do you know that?

In love and light,

Martina